🌸My Kindred Spirits,
Like many of you who have entered this tribe, I am a survivor of domestic violence and childhood abuse from both my parents, who were addicted to a family controlled environment. As a child and adult, I was sexually assaulted from men who were acquaintances, and then later suffered two traumatic brain injuries from severe car accidents during my later adult years. These traumas left my mind, body, and soul in gridlock, forcing me into a horrific darkness, where I lost my sanity, myself, and my hope for surviving. Having no support system from close family, employers, the community, legal system, and/or a significant other, I was completely alone and on my own financially, medically, legally, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. And, when you are suffering from an invisible injury, everyone thinks you are fine, because after all, you “look” fine. Therefore, you are fine.
The painful journey of my first traumatic brain injury (TBI) forced me into a world of darkness, isolation, and rage, whereby I had memory loss, broken communication, migraines, and brain overloads. Yet, this new path also offered me a spiritual transformation blazed with deep solace, vulnerability, courage, strength, and a voice of power. More profoundly, from out of the darkness, one of the greatest gifts was realizing who I aspired to be. Ultimately, I learned how to free myself from the prison I had chosen to live in after years of abuse.
The sovereignty within us is the resiliency of the human spirit. This resiliency was my greatest escape from bondage of negative self-talk I had learned as a child in order to love myself first. This allowed myself to rise into a mindset of worthiness, whereby my divine spirit was free to love again. Loving myself first is the God spark from within that gave me permission to shine and overflow with love far greater than what someone else could offer me. It also gives others permission to do the same.
Ultimately, as mentioned in my first blog, when I learned to let go and love myself first, I realized how worthy I was in being open to receive the divine and spiritual love I truly wanted and deserved. Self love manifests an inner transformation that heals the deepest scars, fears, shame, and guilt that had kept my mind imprisoned. The gift of self love is shining light into darkness and releasing the bondage of one’s past. It is a divine spiritual revelation. Happiness, after all, is an inside job…💕
My perseverance in education earned me a Bachelor’s degree in Health Education/Secondary, and a Master’s degree in Educational Psychology with a focus in Addictions Counseling at the University of Arizona. I graduated Phi Delta Kappa with a Doctorate in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies at the University of Northern Colorado. I choose not to allow my history to define me nor guide me. It has refined and transformed me, however, in ways that have opened my eyes to the truth about integrity, friendships, family, western medicine, and our own internal resiliency of the human spirit. What life throws at us is not as important as how we react to it. I’ve heard people say humility is the most important character to have, yet they obviously have never suffered from abuse, sexual assault and trauma by the hand of someone who is out for violence, control, and power. My response is that forgiveness is one of the most crucial choices we make when we have been injured, betrayed, violated, and/or robbed of our sanity.
When we forgive, we allow ourselves to be free of the anger, bitterness, and victimization that we have instilled in ourselves. These are toxins we spew out without even realizing it, which damage relationships and those closest to us, because we tend to hurt the ones we love most. Without even realizing it, we have also become broken inside, where our hearts ache out of pain, suffering, and lack of love, mostly because we no longer love ourselves due to our loss of self-worth and self-esteem. If only someone could hear and listen to what we needed to fill us up with what we lost by the hand of another. Our world as we knew it was gone, and we needed to know how to put the pieces back together to bring sanity back to our out-of-control life. How do we reclaim our life, when it’s been taken from us? And, who really can fill the hole in our hearts once it has been ripped out of us? In truth, only we can, if we choose to…💗
Forgiveness is grace and humility in unity. Grace brings mercy to the one who has betrayed you, while humility offers a subservient humbleness, whereby your character shows compassion, empathy, and love. When we truly forgive, it brings to our divine spirit a wholeness, light, and freedom. Yet, forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgiving your persecutor is just as important as forgiving yourself for the past, so you can live joyously in the present! In doing so, you allow the real healing and recovery to begin. It is a spiritual and sacred transformation for you, because the load you have carried for so long is finally lessened. YOU will know when this transformation has begun, for your conscience and ego will be released of its suffering, and there will be an intense abundance of joy in your soul. Consequently, the broken pieces of glass in your heart will shimmer from the glow coming through your divine spirit to let you know your light will shine on!💫
As an Advocate for Letting Your Light Shine On… I have Six Goals I wish to Accomplish:
- To encourage and guide individuals who have suffered from depression, abuse, assault, traumatic brain injuries, and PTSD. By exploring the deep underlying issues still facing adults, we realize the prisons we are placed in from those horrific experiences keep us stuck and tied to our past trauma and PTSD. My purpose is to shine a light on those dark fears we carry inside of us so we can face them on our own. We sometimes hold secrets of our past, which may carry over into our present, keeping us from living a full and healthy lifestyle. It’s time to let go…!
- For you to learn about yourself, your dreams, and who you want to be as a recovered thriver. I am here to assist YOU in your transformation of the goals you wish to reach for your life. You are not alone in this process or journey you are about to embark on. There are no guarantees in life. You must be willing and ready when a door of opportunity opens for you. You are here by design. I am not a doctor of medicine so I cannot diagnose your issues, although I can serve as a life coach, advisor and mentor, while offering you what knowledge and expertise I have in assisting with your healing and recovery. The ultimate goal for me is to teach you healthy life skills for personal growth in overcoming pain and suffering. Choosing a life of glow to thrive into is so much sweeter than surviving. Living life in the Magic Zone is aspiring to your dreams and watching them come to fruition.
- To partner with local organizations, agencies, medical facilities, and non-profits to offer a deeper and more meaningful toolbox for those treating victims of abuse, assault, depression, traumatic brain injuries and PTSD. As a recovered trauma victim, my hope is to offer support, education, and training in the dynamics and underpinnings of the phases trauma victims must cycle through for healing to take place. I hope to infuse my experiential expertise coupled with local and state comprehensive services and programs to help victims heal and recover more seamlessly, collaboratively, and effectively.
- To bring abuse, sexual assault, traumatic brain injury, and PTSD issues to the forefront in education. In this way, those educating children and adults can be offered a training renewal with regard to how they perceive their students, being more diligent and vigilant in the “symptomatic” diagnosis of trauma. Educators need to be trained in multi-complex symptoms of trauma, so they too can more readily alert proper authorities. In this way they will be able to protect, assist, and intervene by offering medical and community programs and services necessary for child and adult victims.
- To offer life coaching, mentoring, and presentations to groups, local and state organizations, agencies, teachers and/or professors to glean new ways in approaching victims of assault, abuse, depression, traumatic brain injuries (TBIs), and PTSD. Many of these victims are misunderstood, do not have a voice, and are afraid to speak to strangers about what has happened to them. We must be vigilant in reminding ourselves not to assume when it comes to victims of trauma. Invisible traumas make it difficult to diagnose immediately until symptoms begin to unveil themselves sometimes four to six weeks later, even after being seen and released by a practitioner. Listening is one of our greatest assets for those who have been through various traumas.
- To complete my memoir that will hopefully be a sustaining light for those who have walked in darkness far too long alone, and to know your journey was not in vain. I promise to walk with you in spirit, heart, and prayers, for I am writing this book for YOU.💗
🌟In Love and Light,
Kimberly Lees, Ed.D. xo