My Kindred Spirits,
Like many of you entering this tribe, I am a survivor of domestic violence and childhood abuse from both my parents who were addicted to a family controlled environment. As a child and adult, I was sexually assaulted from men who were acquaintances. Later, I suffered two traumatic brain injuries from severe car accidents that changed the course of my life forever.
The painful journey of my first traumatic brain injury (TBI) forced me into a world of darkness, isolation, and rage, whereby memory loss, broken communication, migraines, and brain overloads ruled my life. This new path eventually forced me into a spiritual transformation of deep solace. It cradled my vulnerabilities, challenged my courage, and forced me to find strength from within. And in my moment of weakness, I revealed a voice so powerful, I trembled at the sound. One of the greatest gifts offered me was the realization that my thoughts were my reality. I was worthy of whatever aspirations propelled me forward. Thus, I learned how to free myself from the prison I had chosen to live in after years of abuse.
The sovereignty within us is the resiliency of the human spirit. This resiliency was my greatest escape from bondage of negative self-talk I had learned as a child in order to love myself first. This allowed me to rise into a mindset of worthiness, whereby my divine spirit was free to love again. Loving myself first is the God spark from within that gave me permission to shine and overflow with love far greater than what someone else could offer me. It also gives others permission to do the same.
In my first blog, I unveiled how I surrendered to self-love and inhaled a breath of fullness, knowing I was enough. My worthiness became the divine and spiritual love I wanted and deserved. Self-love manifests an inner transformation that heals the deepest scars, fears, shame, and guilt that freed me from my past.
The gift of self-love shines a light into our darkness and gives others permission to shine too. Self-love is learning how to honor ourselves daily through practice, discover who we are, who we want to be, determine who we let in and out of our circles, who we trust, how to forgive, and be open to the possibilities. It is a divine spiritual revelation. Happiness, after all, is an inside job…
As a first generation, low-income student, my perseverance in a doctoral education earned me honors as a member of Phi Delta Kappa with a Doctorate in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies at the University of Northern Colorado. I received my Master’s degree in Educational Psychology focusing on Addictions Counseling at the University of Arizona. The American Psychological Association has honored me with an active membership. My Bachelor’s degree in Health Education/Secondary was commenced through Whitworth University and then transferred to the University of Arizona, where I graduated.
My history doesn’t define me or guide me. It has refined and transformed me in ways that have enlightened me to the truth about integrity, friendships, family, western medicine, and the resiliency of the human spirit. What life throws at us is not as important as how we react to it.
I’ve heard people say humility is the most important character to have, yet they didn’t suffer from abuse, sexual assault and trauma by the hand of someone who is out for revenge, violence, control, and power. My response is that forgiveness deems the most crucial choice we make when we’ve been injured, betrayed, violated, and/or robbed of our mental stability.
Forgiveness frees us from the anger, bitterness, and victimization we instill in ourselves over time. These are toxins we spew out without realizing it, damaging relationships and those closest to us, because we tend to hurt the ones we love. In the midst of our suffering, we become broken inside. Our hearts ache out of pain, blame, guilt, and shame. There remains a hole in our hearts from the lack of love. Our abused mindsets, imprisoned by our damaged sense of self-worth and self-esteem, are unable to dig deep to discover self-love.
If only someone could hear our cries and fill us up with what we lost by the hand of another. Our world as we knew it has vanished. By digging deep we can learn how to connect the broken pieces of our souls back together and bring sanity to our out-of-control life. Yet, how do we reclaim our lives when its been taken from us? Who really can fill the holes in our hearts once they have been ripped out of us? In truth, only we can, if we choose to…
Forgiveness is grace and humility in unity. Grace brings mercy to those who betrayed you, while humility offers a subservient humbleness, where your spirit reflects compassion, empathy, and love. When we truly forgive, our divine spirit transforms into wholeness, light, and freedom.
Yet, forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgiving your persecutor is just as important as forgiving yourself of the past, so you can live joyously in the present. By doing so, you allow the real healing and recovery to begin. It is a spiritual and sacred transformation for you, because the load you have carried is finally removed by grace. YOU will know when this transformation has begun, because your conscience and ego will be released of its suffering. There will be an intense abundance of joy emitted from your soul. The broken pieces of glass will merge into brilliance. The God spark’s inner glow will be the light that shines on!
As the Aim of my Charge for Letting Your Light Shine On…
There are Six Goals I wish to accomplish so you can inhale a life that thrives.
- To encourage and guide individuals who have suffered from depression, abuse, assault, traumatic brain injuries, and PTSD. By exploring the deep underlying issues still facing adults, we realize the prisons we are placed in from past traumas and abuse keep us stuck, unable to move forward.
- My purpose is to shine a light into the dark fears we carry deep within to face them head on in order to become unstuck to move forward. We may hold secrets of our past, which may cloud our present, keeping us from living a full and healthy lifestyle. It’s time to let go…!
- To guide your journey of self-knowledge where you learn about yourself, your dreams, and who you want to be as a glowing thriver.
- To assist YOU in your transformation in order to aspire to the goals for your life. You are not alone in the journey you are about to embark on. There are no guarantees in life. Be willing and ready when a door of opportunity opens for you. You are here by design.
- I am not a doctor of medicine so I’m unable to diagnose your physical issues, although I can serve as a life coach, advisor and mentor.
- I can offer you the knowledge and expertise in assisting you with your neurobiological mental and emotional healing and recovery.
- To assist you in developing life skills for personal growth in overcoming pain and suffering. Choosing a life of glow to thrive into is so much sweeter than surviving. Living life in the Magic Zone is aspiring to your dreams and watching them come to fruition.
- To partner with local organizations, agencies, medical facilities, and non-profits to offer a medical and personal toolbox for those treating victims of abuse, assault, depression, traumatic brain injuries and PTSD.
- As a recovered trauma victim, my hope is to offer support, education, and training in the dynamics and underpinnings of the phases trauma victims must cycle through for healing to take place.
- To infuse my experiential expertise coupled with local and state comprehensive services and programs to help victims heal and recover more seamlessly, collaboratively, and effectively.
- To bring abuse, sexual assault, mental health, traumatic brain injuries (TBIs), and PTSD issues to the forefront in education. Those who educate children and adults can be offered a renewed training regarding how they perceive their students, being more diligent and vigilant in the “symptomatic” diagnosis of trauma.
- Educators should be trained in multi-complex symptoms of trauma, so they more readily can alert proper authorities. This ensures immediate solutions to protect, assist, and intervene by offering medical and community programs and services necessary for child and adult victims.
- To offer life coaching, mentoring, and presentations to groups, local and state organizations, agencies, teachers and/or professors to glean new ways in approaching the complexities of mental health, victims of assault, abuse, traumatic brain injuries (TBIs), and PTSD.
- Many victims are misunderstood, do not have a voice, and fear speaking to strangers about their trauma. We must be vigilant in reminding ourselves not to assume when it comes to victims of trauma.
- Invisible traumas make it difficult to diagnose immediately until symptoms begin to unveil themselves, sometimes four to six weeks later, even after being seen and released by a practitioner. Listening is one of our greatest assets for those who have been through various traumas.
- Dying to Live, A Memoir: Choosing to Thrive After Trauma and Abuse, was published in late June 2021 on Amazon to be a loving and sustaining light force for those who have walked in darkness far too long. Your journey was not in vain.
- I hope to continue to walk with you in spirit, in light, and in love because I wrote this book for ME and YOU.
In Love and Light,
Dr. Kimberly Lees xo