?My Beautiful Souls,
Good Morning Evereeebodee! I hope you have risen on the “right” side of the bed to seize the day, breathe in the shine, and believe you can always start over if you choose to.☀️ Life is a series of trials, experiences, and circumstances that rock the very fabric of our foundation. It changes how we perceive the world, our friends, our significant others, our families, and ourselves. We stop trusting and instead start doubting what is right and wrong. We can no longer make decisions that used to be so easy to do. Trusting others becomes dismal, as we see them as predators, and our behaviors become defensive, angry, and blameful.
Additionally, our expectations tend to change when we become vulnerable by trauma and/or abuse, and we cling to whomever will affirm our fears, pain, and suffering. Those same individuals will enable us to stay “stuck” in our suffering. Maybe not intentionally, yet, it becomes our norm, and we realize we can remain a victim to the cause.
Thus, begins the cyclical nightmare of lies we tell ourselves in believing we are unworthy, stupid, ugly, have nothing to live for, and perceive no one will ever love us as we are. This negative self-talk is the cornerstone of our lies because we are in pain, alone, frustrated at the system, angry that no one hears nor understands us, fueled in darkness because our fears are greater than the light of truth, and depressed because the threads of faith and hope are broken at the seams. Our brains disassociate to protect us from the predators who abused us, we deal with triggers that yield to PTSD, and we search for those who will enable us so we can live in fear and anxiety forever. Yet, how do we get off this ugly merry-go-round?
I will be very honest with you. This was my life while growing up. I, too, suffered at the hands of various individuals and yet, I kept it from everyone. I carried it inside of me until it suffocated my light. Those who saw me in high school or college would never have guessed the stories I share now, because my face was always so happy during those years. What I held inside of me was killing me from inside out. And, those of you who know your secret stories may feel the same way. Life is a journey, and not one to be treated lightly.
For me, my PTSD, was what nailed me, as all your painful inner darkness comes out like a can of worms. I finally was able to receive assistance through EMDR counseling. It saved me from my nightmares and almost three years of sleep deprivation. This was my silver lining
For those of you unsure about how to begin the process of healing and recovery, it truly is a choice of wanting to move forward. Nothing changes until YOU change. It is a slow, and maybe agonizing journey, as there are stages you must go through to make change happen inside out. It is hard work and a daily commitment for manifesting one’s life into one of glow. I can assist in the process of helping you achieve your goals, yet I cannot do it for you. YOU have to CHOOSE it for yourself, or it will never happen.
My life is still evolving, as I continue to have episodes of injuries to my body that were caused from my severe car accidents. Last August, my sciatica flew me down on the floor, whereby I could not get up due to the excruciating pain it caused. Finally, after crawling to a chair hours later, I managed to sit, then stand, and walk slowly to go to the ER. I have had a plethora of cortisone shots in my sciatica and shoulder since then. Hence, my last blog to you was in August.
As is life, everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Consequently, changing one’s mindset is truly one that puts YOU in control in knowing that you are no longer the victim. That is why I want to support and assist my tribe members in whatever way I can so they, too, can heal, recover, and aspire to their dreams.
When my Memoir is published, it will share with you Five Stages for Stepping into the Glow… I hope you will want to grab a copy of the book. Believe your life is worth the risk in living a life of glow…?
Make today a blissful one Evereebodee!? Carpe Diem!?
In Light and Love,?
Kimberly Lees, Ed.D.
photos: Rebel Thriver