Good afternoon sweet souls. Let your hearts be open to the unexpected serendipity of blissful magic… It’s coming.
I’m reinventing this written blog because it’s important to visualize our authenticity regardless of how we see ourselves in the mirror. We are our own worst critic. We say negative self-talk more than our friends would say to our faces.
Choosing self-love is a daily practice of honoring ourselves with optimism. It’s a powerful mind shift and transformation whereby we leave the victim mentality at the door and claim victoriously a new mindset of positivity. It is self-care, feeding our souls with holistic foods, exercising our bodies for optimal health restoration, mindfulness, and being centered with the anatomy of the spirits. It’s practicing meditations, carving in “me time”, learning how to say “no”, and being gentle with the changes evolving in our lives.
We should be steadfast in who we are, what we stand for, and why. How we came to evolve is important. Our experiences have molded us, whether positively or negatively. We choose how to yield to these circumstances and either overcome them with grace and dignity, or allow them to control our destinies. I choose the former because I want to live a life of glow. You hold the power!
When I first started writing, I was terrified. Most people are. It’s scary to put myself out in social media and in print, and share the most vulnerable parts of myself that transports my audience to unseen destinations. With scrupulous menagerie of details regarding my fantasies, magic, metaphors, plots, mood swings, settings, themes, and the first person point of view (muah), you, as my tribe, get to know me as the main character quite intimately. I share my thoughts, feelings, and how I respond to circumstances, which can be overwhelming at times.
Yet being human is messy, chaotic, crazy, sexy, and riveting! I choose to be flexible, organic, and courageous as a writer. I want you, to discover and identify your passions, pain, longings, sufferings, joys, opinions, voices, and glowing destinies that reside in the shadows of your lives. Connecting with you, my audience, is my ultimate goal.
What if you don’t like what you read? What if the words don’t flow, or you don’t like me as the main character (God forbid!). Or what if you get bored? What if there’s not enough detail to engage you and you’re not inspired to keep reading? Whoa!
It’s scary and challenging to write about my life, wondering if you share common ground, can identify, empathize, or feel compassion toward my life’s journey. As a thriver with a triumphant success story, I want to cast a wider net to audiences who have suffered trauma and abuse who choose to live a life of glow. Only then can the resiliency of the human spirit shatter the darkness and transform mindsets from bondage to freedom.
Sometimes we create our own prison by trying to escape one hell for another. Dr. Arielle Schwartz concluded how our brains protect us through dissociation, “which is a biological protection mechanism that protects you from frightening feelings or memories. Symptoms exist on a continuum from relatively mild sensations of fogginess, sleepiness, or difficulty concentrating to feeling numb or cut off. In the most extreme situations, you might have lapses of memory or “lost time.”
Other protection modalities are multiple personalities, decreased brain development, and PTSD. Whatever the trauma, our frontal cortex will shut down upon the fight-flight-freeze response. This means our executive functioning skills no longer work to our advantage. What is stored in our brains from the trauma is printed in the amygdala, located deep within the temporal lobes. It processes memory, decision making, and emotional responses, which is part of the limbic system.
Only fragments of the memory as experienced by our five senses are remembered so we won’t relive the identical trauma again. The memory of what happened is fragmented into images, smells, sounds, and feelings. And because it’s stored as fragments of the senses, it is held in the neurobiological pathways of our bodies within the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems actions. If you wish to read more about unlocking these nervous system pathways for relief from PTSD, you may read Dr. Arielle’s article, “Polyvagel Theory Helps Unlock Symptoms of PTSD.”
How long before we can exhale past trauma?
Self-love is foundational to letting go of suffering and pain. It is a daily journey that transforms our mindsets to one of positivity. It honors who we are and gives us the power to forgive those who persecuted us, and ourselves for the shame, blame, and guilt we imprisoned ourselves in to survive. Forgiveness is our freedom! Releasing ourselves from bondage is the greatest gift we can give ourselves! Unwrap it’s glory and set ourselves free!
Until we get up, choose it, and do it, we are none the wiser.
In time, I found my true self and calling. My authenticity was gleaned through my writing. It is my passion. I shed layers of skin to unveil my soul’s deepest secrets. In doing so, I found answers to questions that had plagued my broken mindset for decades.
In truth, I also found healing, forgiveness, and how to surrender and change those parts of me that I could. Some dark memories still cling to me at the edges of my mind like Glad Wrap. The broken pieces of glass of my soul that cannot be rectified, even with duct tape, remain shattered due to the repeated abuse. Toxic people have scarred me. Trust in myself and God is my anchor. Trusting others will someday be less difficult. In time, God’s love will heal the shattered glass so more love and light can filter in.
Being abandoned by so many, I am fearful of losing friendships, jobs, kindred spirits, and loved ones. My biggest fear is when the universe is in alignment. The times I am happiest, close people suddenly are removed from my life. Or, I become injured or ill. It’s as if a black cloud hovers over me and preys on my innocence. Whether cedar, yerba santa, rosemary, or juniper, blessing my home with herbs and prayers doesn’t seem to assist in my plight. Yet, I know unequivocally my heart’s center and spiritual divinity of joy will not alter. I am grateful for my closest of friends who shine their light over me and lift me up as my source of inspiration. The God spark within is my superpower that keeps me grounded, confident, and brilliant. God’s plan for my life is unimaginable!
As an empath, I can feel the presence of dark and light surrounding people. I sense their energies, and when connected to them intimately, can receive premonitions about them. When someone close to me dies, a voice from the universe vibrates so profoundly I feel a quiver in the heavens. I have carried this gift with me since childhood. I don’t know how to control it but I know when spirits are present. When our minds are open, God unveils significant gifts to us. People we rub shoulders with teach us how to use our gifts serendipitously. Life truly is an adventure.
✨Having overcome traumas and abuse myself, it is in choosing to thrive in a life of glow that gives me the confidence, courage, resiliency and wisdom to be authentic. Staying true to myself, the God spark within carries my light force of brilliance so I can overcome whatever obstacles are thrown at me. How I react to them carries my light.
And when I fail to react positively to circumstances beyond my control, my flowing well of love and light my be running low on battery. People who choose to control the outcome of situations, resist being gentle and kind, and would rather cause chaos to initiate a reaction from others, sucks the life out of us trying to channel glow.
Narcissistic behaviors are raging in people closest to you. They will manipulate you when it serves them, gaslight you so you begin to self-doubt your decisions, and deceive you when you begin to trust them. DON’T! Narcissistic individuals never change their stripes. They only fade long enough for you to fall in their web of lies, deceit, and manipulative powers. YOU are wiser, stronger, and fearless. Let go and walk on! There are far better things ahead of you than what you leave behind…!
Those who need me will find me. And like-minded souls will gravitate towards me to continue the process of evolving into their highest self by seeking answers to their questions. I don’t have all the answers. I am willing to find solutions to questions that can assist individuals who have suffered by the hands of others. If I can offer one person a better life, a life of healing, and a life of glow, I am grateful for that opportunity. Life after all is a choice.
And laying myself out there to the world isn’t pretty. I have become vulnerable. I realize my life is chaotic, ugly, humiliating, embarrassing, and depressing. It is painful to be transparent. But the ugly truth of being genuine is that other people’s lives align with mine. Other individuals can hopefully identify with my story and find hope. Realizing they’re not alone, they can discover support, resources, and ways to heal and recover. It’s Not our Fault regarding what happened to us! WE are worthy of greatness!
Loving yourself first is savoring those pieces of stardust that bring joy to your soul and staying true to you. Below is an edited version of Jen Pastiloff’s four ways to be your most authentic self… This is a starting point for you in becoming who you were meant to be!
1) Discover your passion. What makes you come alive; go do that. Find like-minded people; hang out with those people. Maybe it’s a wine tasting and pairing, yoga, scrap booking, swimming, cooking, or sewing. Just do it. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your passion instead of squashing it.
2) Communicate. When something bothers you, speak up. When you love someone, speak up. Tell them. Open your mouth and use your voice. It’s yours. Own it. Don’t worry how others will react to your voice. That is on them. If they criticize you for your feelings, your authenticity, and transparency, they serve no purpose in your life. Be true to you.
3) Be creative. What makes you YOU? We are all different. Stand out. Shine. Be bold, beautiful, brainy. Share your talents with the world. Thankfully we are all unique. Let the beauty of who you are be your brilliance.
Imagine how boring it would be if we were all six feet tall, red heads with a passion for ice skating. We would die of boredom. Discover what brings joy to your soul and makes you shine. By finding your own voice, you connect the anatomy of the spirit that honors your spiritual center. It unveils the shine that is uniquely your own. It’s there. Discover it. Embrace your own adventure!
4) Visualize. Whatever you believe or imagine can come true if you you dig deep enough. Our thoughts literally become our reality. You will FEEL the emotion of becoming that person you envision for yourself. Once you taste that feeling of positivity, believe in your imagination because it makes your soul do its happy dance. Go do a happy dance! Believe in You!
Make today a blessed one sweet souls…?Always be beautiful, authentic YOU! Beauty never looked or felt so good.?
If you ever feel alone, in darkness, fearful, or desperate, please contact me OR CALL: 988 ▶️ New Mental Health Crisis HOTLINE‼️
Sending Fall kisses…xoxo
In Love and Light,
Dr. Kimberly Lees xo