?My Thriving Tribe!

It has been said you must love yourself first before you can love someone else fully and completely. Truly, what is meant by this is when we love ourselves, we send out invisible energy or signals to people whose energy source mirrors ours. If other individuals’ hearts are open to receive it, they will gravitate towards us. This is why it so crucial that our anatomy of the spirit is in a position of holistic harmony, whereby our psyche and spiritual paths have thrived to a conscious level of peace, tranquility, and healing. Everything we do, whether through our mind, bodies, and/or divine spirits, are all interconnected, whereby one impacts the other when it is sick, depressed, wounded, exhausted, anxious, or in fear. Our daily lives bring chaos, frustrations, stress and anxiety disorders, that when compounded by work and personal agendas, shock the internal balance of our “multi-intelligence” that runs on a rhythm until confronted with overload. Loving yourself is engaging and developing the whole person of YOU. It’s learning about your conscious and unconscious layers, and unveiling not only the body and mind, but the emotions, intellect, intuition, and instinct as well. Discovering yourself is one of the most critical aspects about loving yourself, because if you don’t know who you are and what you want in a partner or out of life, what does that say about you as a person? Knowing yourself, loving yourself, and sharing that energy source of light is a great draw to others who want to share it with you!

Let me first explain to you what love really is. We all consider love as being a feeling word. This wonderful, beautiful, romantic phenomenon causes tingling sensations to overcome the brain, the stomach, and the nerves. It is a flame that unveils in us the true essence of our soul and fuses our emotions with a spiritual transcendence. It smothers all rationale and awakens our senses to mystical heights…Love is the cornerstone of life. There’s this higher sense of trepidation because these butterfly feelings are overwhelming hormones, called oxytocin, that tend to fill you up with emotional surges racing through your cortex, sending messages to the hypothalamus and amygdala parts of the brain, to infuse you with emotional highs of sexual arousal and endorphins that can last for up to six months or longer. Nothing could be better than this when it comes to love. Love is magical. It’s a whimsical time when we tend to lead with our hearts instead of our head. All logic falls to the way side as we dream big fantasies about what we want the future to hold. To enhance this drive, we consume aphrodisiacs to savor the next rush of adrenaline that stimulates our minds and bodies with hormonal, brain, and energy level enhancements!

Love, literally, reduces our stress, offers new beginnings, possibilities that we hadn’t seen before, because our heart had been blocked by past hurt and sorrow. Love brings compromise and compatibility, because we are more likely to overlook a person’s flaws in the beginning since the “honeymoon” stage is like a “falling star” from heaven, just waiting to hit the ground. Yet, when you do, sometimes, reality hits hard. Remember, you are looking into the mirror of a person who has gravitated toward you with similar characteristics, gestures, attitude, values, etc., and your looking glass may not be as perfect as you had expected it to be. In principal, what we want in our partner are the same qualities we must also have nurtured in ourselves for it to be a truly loving experience. So, if neither partner loves themselves, it would be challenging for them to love someone else in a meaningful, deep, and loving relationship until they do.

Love is actually not a feeling. ?Love is an action word, whereby actions speak louder than words. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said so profoundly, “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” And, it’s true. When you love someone, it is not only the intention you give them in word, but in deed as well. Your intention means nothing, because it has no meaning through your works or action. “Walking the talk,” is echoed consistently throughout business corporations in leadership training, yet challenging to make a reality among most leaders. Loving yourself means having a great understanding of self-knowledge. It is taking “alone time” to reflect on yourself and perceive who you really are as a person. To unveil the characters, qualities, personality, traits, idiosyncracies, gifted talents, intuitiveness, intellect, values, morals, etc. that you alone grace the world with daily. YOU, individually are a remarkable gift to the world! Accepting who you are as a person with flaws, secrets, darkness, masks, light, and your exquisite beauty are uniquely all your own. By giving yourself permission to shine, you allow others to do the same.?

Do you like what you see in the mirror? Is this the type of person you want to meet and have a relationship with, because this is the type of person you will attract. By loving yourself, you give yourself permission to shine a light into the dark shadows inside of you that have been waiting to see the glow. You are stretching yourself wide open so you can finally exhale the pain, the anxiety, the sorrow, and the suffering so God can work His magic in your life. We are not meant to walk this earth as suffering, depressed, and abused individuals. Everything we do when we love ourselves is echoed back to the universe times ten. When we love ourselves, we share this love by giving back to others in paying it forward so they too can shine just a little brighter in the sky. Everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know about. That is why being complete in yourself allows you to be open to receive and gift…..Love❣️

I want to leave you with TEN LOVING COMMANDMENTS in How to Love Yourself Daily 🙂

  1. SELF-TALK: What you think is who YOU are!? Before going to bed at night, with your head on the pillow, close your eyes and think about all the positive experiences you had that day. Say to yourself, “I AM messages.” (I AM beautiful, I AM smart, I AM intelligent, I AM prosperous, I AM going to be the next…., I AM love, I AM healthy). When you sleep at night, God seals your mind with the last thoughts you have and those are the words your mind plays over and over into your subconsciousness. In Wishes Fulfilled, Wayne Dyer, wrote the importance of the last five minutes one has just prior to going into a deep slumber. This time was for programing your mind to replace negative thoughts with those of joy, kindness, gratitude and anticipation of having your wishes fulfilled. His practice of saying, “I AM” was to instill in your subconscious what you want your life to become in your pre-sleep moments. Book of Job (33: 15-16)…

    “In a dream, in a vision of the night, while slumbering on their beds, then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction.”  http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/how-do-you-sleep/

    In order for this to work, one must believe in the words said or they are meaningless. These are the words that become your reality in life. Everything you think about, say out loud, or write about when you talk about you becomes true, because that is how YOU see yourself. YOU are the author of your life. What you believe becomes your reality, so if you believe you will have an awesome life, it will be so! Never underestimate the power of your MIND!!

  2. REST: Get plenty of it!? Researchers have shown that 8-10 hours of sleep allows your brain to function at its highest level because it is rested and restored for the next day’s amazing race. Sleep deprivation leaves your mind in a fog, unable to process quickly, remember information, or function at a peak performance. If you’re not getting plenty of rest, your body is not able to heal from the following day’s drudgery or bring a renewal to those cells needing to be cleansed of toxins in the brain. Love yourself enough to know how much restoration your body needs to function like a well-greased engine. Your brain matters!
  3. BREAKFAST: Eat it!?  If you are sluggish in the morning and just drink coffee, trust me, that is why. Your body and brain need fuel to feel good about itself. In order to rise and shine to greet the glorious day, your attitude depends on nurturing your brain and your body’s fuel source. Eggs are a complete source of protein. Oatmeal is a wonderful fiber source and with Red Mill’s Steel Cut Oats and Mixed Grains, you can add cranraisins, walnuts, and blueberries to make it the best meal in town! Don’t cut corners on what you eat, because after all, you ARE what you eat! Make it count!
  4. MULTI-TASK: Do NOT do it!?  There is no such thing as multi-tasking because when you try to multi-task, your brain can only do one thing at-a-time at 100 percent capacity. So, as you add more features for your brain to accomplish at the same time, the brain is unable to complete each one with 100 percent accuracy. Consequently, this leads to a false sense of success, especially if you are a perfectionist, because your attempt at reaching your goal will fail profusely. This, in turn, will cause a major domino affect on your self-confidence and self-esteem, so that you will slip back into a formidable depression, knowing once again, you are not perfect. Loving yourself, however, allows you to fail, because you already know you are loved, so therefore, you can reclaim yourself by picking yourself up, learning from your mistakes, and moving on. Isn’t that refreshing?!
  5. SMILE: It’s your pearly gates!?  Your smile is the most magnificent curve on your body! So, show it peeps! And, it’s the least expensive one too. Believe it or not, flossing is cheap! I learned a long time ago, that your teeth are the most important novelties to keep white and brilliant so your photos will sparkle! Your smile is one of the first parts of your face people notice about you, and if your teeth are yellow, crooked, missing, or broken, it means you do not care about yourself or your worth. Your teeth play a vital role in your health as well. People who have gum disease, tooth decay, etc., are high risk for heart attacks and stroke because the bacteria in your mouth goes into the blood stream, arteries, and can enter into the heart valves. Your teeth are a crucial focal point on your face and tell people so much about YOU, what is important to you, and what your worth is to you. Don’t underestimate the most amazing gift of your smile. It says so much about your glow from inside out!
  6. FITNESS: Just DO IT!? Your fitness habits mirrors the love you have for you and your body. Loving yourself means taking care of what you have on the outside so it can stay flexible, strong, healthy, and have endurance. That means getting your heart rate up to your maximum allowed amount for at least 35 minutes per day if possible. You could walk, swim, run, cycle, ski, roller blade, skate, hike, sport climb, weights, and aerobics. Engaging in some type of fitness is totally for you. It allows you to meditate, it reduces stress levels, it lowers your blood pressure, it helps one lose weight gently, it encourages the control of diabetes, and offers an outlet for frustration and anger. Overall, your brain stays healthy, your body stays fit, and your life’s longevity is extended! Oh what a feeling…!
  7. HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: This is foundational to loving yourself completely.? Giving up junk food, packaged food items, sugar, soda, fast foods, fried foods, and foods that contain chemicals your body can’t break down and stores as fat, is a first step in truly loving yourself inside and out. You are what you eat and the garbage people eat today is so loaded with foreign junk that the body is incapable of getting rid of it. Consequently, people now have elevated fat storage, an increase in various cancers, enhanced illnesses, and  increased stress levels, frustrations, fatigue, mental fog, spinal pain, and dislike what they see in the mirror. Clean eating is possible, yet it is a change in mindset for having a healthy lifestyle, eating nutritiously, snacking on fresh fruits and vegetables, and learning to enjoy food cooked at home. Inasmuch, the home cooked meals taste amazing, families gather together for meals instead of fast food fall out, partners learn new culinary skills, and discover fun in the kitchen! Cooking together is intimate, a conversation piece, and a shared experience that can be an aphrodisiac all by itself! Don’t knock it until you try it!?
  8. ATTITUDE: It’s a Choice you make everyday before getting out of bed.?  You purposefully determine how your day will start and end by choosing an attitude of joy, happiness, thoughtfulness, kindness, compassion, empathy, perseverance, and friendliness. What we feel inside of ourselves comes out of our mouths and spews all over other people subconsciously. Sometimes we choose to be passive/aggressive, bitter, frustrated, and stressed, etc. Other times, we choose to be kind, considerate, loving, timely, respectful, and generous. Even in the most chaotic of days, we must try to make a mental note to receive people with an attitude of kindness, because they do not deserve our frustrations. They did not play a role in the chaos we may find ourselves in. We should have discernment and discretion in how we treat others, because you never know who is watching. And what you send out tells people a lot about who you are and what it says about you, not them. Loving yourself lets you choose the beauty of an attitude that reflects your joy from inside of you, since happiness after all is an inside job.
  9. BE YOU: Don’t try to be someone else in the world you admire.??  It won’t work. Besides, every one else’s name is taken. YOU are this incredible miracle that was born to shine, not hide! Why would someone with such a beautiful, remarkable spirit want to play small, when you were meant to be larger than life?! The amazing talents and gifts you have are meant to be shared with the world, and that is why you are here. Your one bright light burning in the sky alters the darkness and creates a pattern at night for others to view. Think for one minute how many people you have touched by being in this world…your parents, your teachers, your friends, neighbors, loved ones, extended families, serendipity individuals passing in the night, on a train, airplane, boat. What would have happened had you not met them? Would their life have changed significantly? Of course it would have! YOU are important. Never compare yourself with others, because they, too, have a path splendidly designed just for them. Their walk is just as important as yours. Although it may shine differently, your glow is significant, because it’s yours alone.?  Be true to YOU. Being you allows you to accept and love the miracle you are. Be the hero or heroine of your own life and be happy it’s YOU!
  10. POSITIVE MINDSET: Choose the bright side!☀️ Choosing a positive mindset deflects negative self-talk and invites us to focus on those inner and outer characteristics that brings light, joy, and beauty into our lives and to those we touch on a regular basis. We learn to celebrate the most meaningful parts of the day that have engaged, encouraged, informed, and/or refined us. We are the catalyst of change. In loving ourselves, we choose to make the best of the worst situations, clinging to the knowledge there is always a silver lining that shines through the dark. We are patient, knowing that the person yelling at us may be having a harder battle to fight than our own, and their demons in the basement are not just ghosts. Loving yourself is realizing that you are not perfect, yet you hold yourself to a standard that is one in which brings joy and delight to your day in the smallest acts of kindness, because you are generous and are determined to make life better for others. Being in a positive mindset is a a mental choice and thus, a selfless act, because we gift it to another without expecting a return. We are offering a piece of our hearts, which is being vulnerable to those we release it to, hoping to make their day a little bit brighter. We give them our smile when they may have none to give back.

What is important to remember is when you love yourself, it’s not just for you, but for the people you engage with daily. If you don’t have love inside of you to begin with, how can you share it with someone else? Find the time to reflect, discern, forgive, let go, and let God’s redeeming love fill you up. It is the most transcending transformation you will ever encounter for yourself that is healing, revealing, and reviving.  Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit….?

?Wishing my Beautiful Souls a lifetime of Love and Light,

Kimberly xo


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