🌸My Beautiful Souls,
✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫The magic of the season is upon us… The year 2021 has flown by so fast that I’m shocked Christmas is already here at last. The tree is up with lights and ornaments. I hope yours are too. There is still unbelievably so much to do. Gifts need to be wrapped with paper and bows and mailed for my family and friends to go. And dozens of cards need verbiage in them, while dashing and prancing as I shop and swim. As I jog to the lighthouse with Magic at my side, his eyes all aglow so brilliant and bright. We turn to the lakeshore among the soft snow, it glistens and sparkles with merry delight. So off to the harbor my cape all a glow, saying Merry Christmas to all, and to all a…Good night.🎄
❄️It is December and the year has been exhausting, illuminating, frustrating, discouraging, and for some, exhilarating. We have all had an insurmountable amount of roadblocks and pot holes to overcome. Many of us are starting over with new jobs, new families, less income, yet still an abundance of blessings. Our gratitude is as big as our hearts are wide. We have endured loss, the gift of life, the resurrection of small businesses, graduation, newly weds, and divorce. Our mindsets are riddled with questions on “how to” but answers are not easy to find.
Many of us are finding ourselves at the “tipping point,” of our lives where we must choose the path less traveled or remain in the comfort of our norms. Transitioning is fearful. It means leaving our comfort zone of habits, rituals, and daily routines that we know so well. They help us feel safe and keep a rhythm to our day so we are structured and in sync with the use of our time. It is easy to have routines to follow. If it works, why change it, right?
In life, coloring outside the lines feels bizarre, crazy, and postured for those who are self-directed, motivated, and highly intuitive. For others it brings feelings of insecurity, risk, and the fear of the unknown. There lies the reasoning for self-doubt, fear of failure, and uncertainties of the future.
For true change to craft an optimum mindset, we must choose to grow, transform, and experience the opportunities that transcend positivity, enlightenment, higher consciousness, and spiritual resiliency. Movement into the magic zone, where anything and everything is possible is where you can fulfill your dreams, create, become, and envision who you want to be. It is where your superpowers lie within the resiliency of the human spirit instead of outside of you where the pandemic, fears, panic, chaos, and doubt live. We are the keepers of our light force. Everything we need is inside of us if we dig deep enough to find it.
As children, we are open to the gifts of the universe. Being connected to our spiritual light is what transcends us from harm. We are intuitive beings and we trust our sacred truths that dominant us as children. Our hearts are fearless and open. We do not carry the weight of the world on our shoulders with judgement, bias, and blame. Our higher conscience is absolved to absorb powers from a higher source who made us in His image. We carry the God spark as our light force, even now, and as children we trusted it in times of darkness and light. We listened to its whispers and its truths.
As adults, we have forgotten how to listen with our hearts, to be open to the universe, and hear the whispers of His Holiness. Many of us have lost our gifts of wonderment because our daily lives have infused us with an abundance of perfectionism, structure, timeliness, order, and control. When our hearts and mindsets become closed to the spiritual light that helps us rise above the darkness, we become victims to the world around us. Our brilliance dims and we forget the magic we are made of and the light graced to us to offer the world. As Wayne Dyer shares, “Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” Yet how can we prepare our hearts, souls, and minds for such brilliance?
The resiliency of the human spirit is our super power that transcends us farther than the mind can “see”. Believing in ourselves and our truth is how we honor who we are. Self-love is the anchor that offers us worthiness, self-confidence, self-esteem, and the knowledge that we are valued and loved unconditionally regardless of our perfect imperfections. Loving ourselves first gives us the mindset of positivity, energizing us to move boldly with intention. Leaning in allows us to make space, time, and meditation for ourselves to support our unimaginable transformation. By honoring ourselves daily, we learn how to craft healthy standards and boundaries that others must respect in order to be part of our circle. We cannot expect to grow and change performing the same habitual routines with the same people surrounding us. Change is healthy and is ever evolving. Inhaling fresh air is a sign of health and well-being. Not everyone will want to go with us as we move forward because it is a choice they must make for their lives. But for me, living on the edge is inspiring and forces me to discover the possibilities in how to reach my full potential and become who I was meant to be. It is exciting!
Changing our mindsets is recreating our ways of knowing. It creates space for enlightenment in realizing the energy we give out is vibrational. This light force signals other like-minded individuals to choose to gravitate back to you. These are the people you want surrounding you, lifting you higher to aspire to your dreams. They will “see” you and be “present.” Both of you are gifts you unwrap together each day with anticipation. They will want the best for you, partner with you, and be there for you, just as you are for them.
Our spiritual energy also dims when under attack by those around us, whether by family, friends, stressors at work, or outside of us, like the pandemic. With self-love we must be willing to release this pain, suffering, resentment, blame, guilt, and bitterness we hold on to that keeps us “stuck” in a mindset of victimization. It consumes us and damages the brilliance of who we are and are meant to be. We cannot heal and recover from what our persecutors did to us until we forgive them and ourselves of the blame, guilt and shame. Until we do, we are held prisoners by the deception of our past beliefs that have been infused into our mindsets over years of trauma and abuse, starting in childhood.
Our past traumas are embedded into our neurobiological system as children from neglect, entrapment, a forced controlled environment, and emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse. Thus, the brain does not develop properly during the child and adolescent pivotal growth spurts because of abuse. Instead, the brain will shield itself as a means of survival early on from the horrors of abuse through survival mechanisms, such as disassociation. The ramifications are seen during adulthood when the brain has reached full maturity. The effects and impacts of neglect and childhood abuse leads to emotional and behavioral patterns later in life such as:
- Being constantly on alert and unable to relax, no matter the situation
- Feeling fearful most or all of the time
- Finding social situations more challenging
- Learning deficits
- Not hitting developmental milestones in a timely fashion
- A tendency to develop a mental health condition
- A weakened ability to process positive feedback
- Emotional dysregulation
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Low self-esteem
- Negative automatic thoughts
- Problems coping with stressors
There are different therapeutic treatments for children and adults alike who have suffered from child abuse. There is no one treatment that fits all because everyone is different, their abuse is different, and their bodies respond differently with various methods of treatment. It is critical you do research of your own before making choices of therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and other modalities and methods of treatment. Please get references always. Connecting with your doctor or therapists takes trust, integrity, morals, a code of honor, confidentiality, and perseverance. Choosing to be well is half the battle.
- Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy involves interacting with something that typically provokes fear while slowly learning to remain calm. This form of therapy may improve neural connections between several regions in the brain.
- Family therapy: Family therapy is a psychological treatment intended to improve relationships within the entire family and create a better, more supportive home environment. This type of treatment may improve HPA axis functioning and lead to a healthier stress response.
- Mindfulness-based approaches: Mindfulness-based therapy focuses on helping people develop a sense of awareness of their thoughts and feelings so they can understand them and better regulate them. These approaches may help improve resiliency against stress by benefiting several brain regions and improving neural connections.
- Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): TF-CBT focuses on helping people learn new coping skills, restructure negative or unhelpful thoughts, regulate their moods, and overcome trauma by crafting a trauma narrative. This form of therapy may help reduce overactivity in the amygdala.
As the Christmas holidays come upon us, we are reminded of the gift of grace and humility wrapped in a bow on Christmas Eve that God delivered to us in a manger for all to see…✨ As snow glistens down to cleanse the world all in white, the sins of humanity are washed away in the brilliance of night. The crown of jewels He wears is now ours to bare. For the love He gave is the transformation we crave. Our spiritual divinity that glows from the God spark within, is our light force, our superpowers, our magic, and magnificent vibrato sovereign.
By Wayne Dyer
Forgiving others is key for spiritual growth. Your experiences of pain and suffering are now only a thought or feeling you carry around as baggage. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you let them live rent free in your head. If released, you would know peace. Dr. Wayne Dyer shares with us his 15 Steps on Forgiveness, which I have expanded upon, to bring resiliency and glow to one’s soul, especially during the holiday season of love.
Step 1: Move Forward to the Next Act
Past hurts are no longer in your physical reality. Choose not to let them to be present in your mind confusing your current thoughts. Your life is live and is not a dress rehearsal. Those actors who enter your stage have short and long roles, impacting you as an actress. Also, there are cruel and good-hearted actors. All of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in your play. Embrace them, and move forward to the next act.
Step 2: Reconnect to Your Divine Spirit
Claim a new agreement with yourself. Choose to stay connected to the Divine Spirit even when it seems challenging. By consenting a degree of perfect harmony for your body to flourish through God, you sanction the Divine Spirit to flow through you. [This is choosing self-love.]
Your new agreement is where you’ve blended your physical self and personality with your spiritual God-connected self. You will begin to radiate a higher energy of love and light. [This is your God spark.] Others will experience the brilliance of your glow of God consciousness. Disharmony, disorder and chaos simply will not thrive in your presence. Become “an instrument of thy peace,” as St. Francis desires in the first line of his famous prayer.
Step 3: Refuse Negativity During Slumber
Before drifting to sleep, refuse to use this precious time to review anything negative because it will be reinforced when immersed into the subconscious mind. Instead, choose to impress upon it a conception of yourself as a Divine creator in alignment with the one mind of your Divine maker. Reiterate the “I AMs,” about yourself in your imagination. Your slumber will be dominated by your last waking thoughts of yourself. (i.e., I am peaceful, I am content, I am love, and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment with my highest ideals of myself.)
Making this a nightly ritual eschews temptations to review fears of unpleasantness your ego may ask to review. By choosing to be programmed while asleep from the “I AM” statements as wishes fulfilled, the next day I will rise knowing I am a free agent.
- “In sleep man impresses the subconscious mind with his conception of himself.” ~ Neville Goddard
Step 4: Focus on Understanding Yourself Instead of Blaming Others
Choose not to blame others for your inner conflict whenever their behaviors upset you. Instead, shift your mindset to align with your emotions. Try to embrace the experience without blaming others for the triggers that are sparked. Don’t blame yourself either. Let the experience unfold. No one but you has the power to change your emotions from negative to positive and vice versa. How you react to your circumstances is your choice. Never give your power away.
You can choose to freely experience emotions. Emotions are not “wrong,” nor should you chase them away. This mind shift is called self-mastery. It’s important to bypass blame, and your desire to understand the other person. Instead, focus on understanding yourself.
How you choose to respond to circumstances or anyone, carries your light. You align yourself with the beautiful dance of life. By changing how you choose to perceive the power that others have over you, the magic zone of unlimited potential will be at your disposal. Instantly you will know how to forgive and let go of anything.
Step 5: Do Not Control Others
Avoid telling people what to do. People are perfectly capable of making their own choices. In your family, remember you do not own anyone. The poet Kahlil Gibran reminds you:
- “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you . . .”
This is truth. Disregard any desires to dominate in your relationships. Listen rather than expose or clarify with your opinions. Pay attention when you mirror another person’s negative behaviors. What you dislike in someone else will likely trigger what you don’t like in yourself and you will project your dislike onto them. Judgement with opinions echoes everything about you and nothing about the person you judge. When you change an ownership mentality to one of endorsement, a transformation is fueled, channeling a true unfolding of the Tao in you and others. At this moment, you will begin to experience less frustration with those who don’t behave according to your ego-dominated expectations.
Step 6: Release and Be Fluid Like Water
Be fluid like water. Flow where there’s an open door rather than forcing one open with domination. Soften your hard edges by being open-minded of opposing views. Interfere less, and substitute listening instead of delegating, controlling, and telling. Accept other people’s thoughtful views without interruptions. Try not to fix everything in a conversation. Instead, opt to stream like water—gently, softly, and humbly. Forgiveness exemplifies these traits with grace.
Step 7: Take Responsibility for Your Part
Removing blame. Taking responsibility for your part of past experiences means you are willing to remove the blame from others. You may not comprehend why you feel guilty, shamed, victimized, at fault, a failure, an illness, or why you suffered trauma by the hand of another. Regardless, without guilt or resentment, you are able to own it, live with it, and carry it gracefully.
Remove the blame and learn from it. If you’re responsible for bearing the pain, blame, shame, guilt, and a victim mentality, then you can choose to remove it or discover what you are to learn from its message. If someone else is responsible for your mindset, then you’ll have to wait until they change it for you to get better. That is unlikely to occur. Peace is really on the other side of the coin.
Step 8: Let Go of Resentments
The causes of annoyance and anger after a dispute. People generally believe they have a “right” to be angry at another person as seen through their bias lens of experiences.
Living a Tao-filled life. It’s key you reverse negative thinking. Resentments come from a person’s unwillingness to end an altercation by offering kindness, love, and authentic forgiveness.
- “Someone must risk returning injury with kindness, or hostility will never turn to goodwill.” ~ Lao-Tzu
After words of hostility have been expressed, the time for calm has arrived. Remember that no storm lasts forever. Hidden within it are seeds of tranquility. There is a time for hostility and a time for peace.
Step 9: Be Kind Instead of Right
If you’re going to pursue revenge, you’d better dig two graves” ~ Chinese Proverb
Translation: Your resentments will destroy you.
The world is what it is. Badly behaving people in the world are doing what they’re sent to do. You can process it in any way you choose. If you’re filled with contempt about these same “problems,” you also contribute to the rage pollution. Instead, choose not to make others wicked or to retaliate when you’ve been wronged.
Learn to depersonalize offensive behaviors done to you. Rather than opt for resentment, respond with kindness. Freely send the higher, faster energy signals of love, peace, joy, forgiveness, and kindness as your response to your circumstances. Do this for you. Be kind rather than right.
Step 10: Practice Giving
Exiting after a disagreement. Practice giving rather than taking before you exit. Giving involves leaving your ego behind. While the ego wants to win and show superiority by being contrary and disrespectful, your Tao nature wants peace and harmony. You can reduce quarreling time to almost zero if you practice this process:
- Whenever you feel strong emotions stirring in you and you feel the need to “be right,” silently recite the following…
- “Where there is injury, [let me bring] pardon.” ~ Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
- Be a giver of forgiveness as He teaches us.
- “Bring love to hate, light to darkness, and pardon to injury.” ~ St. Francis Assisi
- Read these words daily to overcome your ego’s demands and know the fullness of life.
Step 11: Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended
Living at or below ordinary levels of awareness. We spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. If we’re looking for an occasion to be offended we will find one Instead, choose a mindset that refuses to be offended by anyone, anything, or any circumstances.
It’s impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others when you are grounded in faith, beliefs, hope, and love.
Choosing to feel peaceful regardless of what is going on around you is choosing control over how to respond to circumstances beyond your control. When you “feel” offended, you’re judging someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish. You find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. When you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.
Step 12: Be Present
The Present. When we assign more importance to the past, we find it difficult to forgive. Often it is because we are not living in the present, the gift of today. A good portion of our energy and attention is channeled lamenting the good old days. They are gone forever, yet are reasons why we can’t be happy and fulfilled today. We assign responsibility to the past for why we can’t be happy now.
Step 13: Embrace Dark Times
There are no accidents. We have a divine creative force supporting a universe of an intellectual system where serendipity is not possible. To be where you are today, you had to go on a journey, which is evidenced by your experiences. Every spiritual advance you make in your life will be preceded by some kind of trauma or seeming disaster. Those dark times, accidents, tough episodes, break ups, periods of impoverishment, illnesses, abuses, and broken dreams were all in order. They happened, and you can’t change them.
A mind shift perspective. Understand the darkness of storms, accept them, honor them, and finally transform them.
Step 14: Refrain from Judgement
Stop judging. Become an observer and you will know inner peace. With inner peace you’ll find yourself happier and free of the negative energy of resentment. Like-minded people will be attracted to you. A peaceful person attracts peaceful energy.
If love is all you have to give away, than you are of love living from your highest self. If someone you love chooses to be something other than what your ego prefers, send them parts of your highest self, which is God. And God is love.
Stepping away from God-realization. Criticism and condemnation of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward others, regardless of how right and moral you convince yourself they are, instead, align your mind with your Source of being. It is God-consciousness that allows for your wishes to be fulfilled, as long as they are aligned with your Source of being. Substitute love for these judgments.
Step 15: Send Love
As humans, we occasionally slip and retreat from our highest self into judgment, criticism, and condemnation. This kind of interaction is not rationale to practice. When you send only love to another of God’s children whom you have been judging and criticizing, you get the immediate result of inner contentment.
Send love in place of judgments and criticisms to others when you sense they impede your joy and happiness. Hold them in that place of love. Stay steadfast. When you change your perspective, you will “see” things in a different light…✨
A Meditation to End on Love
🤍Make this your standard response to any future altercations: “I end on love, no matter what.”
🌸My sweet souls…This is my last blog for 2021. I am grateful for you, my tribe of followers whose inspiration, love, kindness, and compassion has brought so much joy to my life.
🪅May this holiday season bring an abundance of hope for a prosperous New Year 2022… I pray for the mental health of our country, that we will embrace each other as we are, not a mirror image of ourselves. There is goodness, grace, love, and human dignity in each person who is infused into the human race. We all deserve to be loved, connected, and feel we belong to someone or something. We should all be held, cherished, “seen”, and praised for our diversity, talents, gifts, and beauty. Not by society’s standards, but by God’s standards that we are all created for Him, by Him, in Him….perfectly but flawed.
👑We are all worthy. We carry His crown of jewels and are made in His image. His light is our super power, the resiliency of the human spirit. It is our greatest joy.
🎷🥁Rejoice! All is not lost! Because He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords…💫 His star will be shining for us all. God Bless you my blessed souls. Merry Merry Christmas.🎄✨🤍 And a Happy New Year 2022 to one and all!🎊🎈🪄